DEATH BY 1000 CUTS

November 14, 2018

I never knew who love was until she sliced me in the back.
Death by 1000 cuts, premeditated murder.

 

She knows me. 
She knows me far to well.
She knows my humor, my mind, my secrets.

She knows the right words to say to me, 
She knows when I’m comfortable.
She knows when my guard is down... 
She knew when she had an opening.

She did her homework on me.
Studying me for years.
I wasn’t aware she was watching.
I was never the observant type.
However, she was.

Silently noticing, 
analyzing me from a distance
Constantly detecting her next point of attack.
Aiming...
Not for my back, but my heart.

She tiptoed beside me 
and jabbed me in the heart with her gentle fist.
She knew, of course,
this was the ideal spot.

Before I could respond,
The accumulation of her observations
smeared across my chest.
Seeping through my chest plate.

Followed by a half-smirked smile
And a prolonged gaze.
Majestic.

How am I suppose to react?
What should you do when someone pays attention to you so diligently
that they are able to inform YOU about the wonders that float beneath your skin?


Fight or flight?

I did the only thing I knew how to do, 
I ran.

She wasn’t concerned.
She took note of my default setting and ran along side with me.
Step-by-step

I sprinted left, she followed.
I buried myself beneath the surface, she dug through.
I tried to hide. She waited patiently for me to poke my head out.
I couldn’t shake her.
She wasn’t going anywhere.

So be it. 
I gave in.
She captured me.

 

However, the hunter doesn’t always go home with its prey.
From a far, I seemed like a perfect catch.
It was only after she got to see me up close, she realized I wasn’t.

I was imperfect.
My outward exterior was a facade.
My fur was far to prickly to her touch.
My scent didn’t ripple through her nostrils the way she imagined.
I couldn’t fulfill her particular taste.
Worsley, I could never muster the strength to say the words she wanted to hear.

It no longer made sense, 
for me to engage into her senses.

So she went back into the shadows of the night.
Searching for the prey she had idealized.

As I lay lifeless.
Dying from a thousand cuts.

 

 

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