SELF-LOVE IN SOLITUDE

November 12, 2018

You’re never alone if you truly love yourself...

 

Have you ever sat back and thought? “Wow, I really love who I am! I really love me!” If you haven’t, why? What is it about yourself that you don’t like enough that you can’t enjoy being just with you.

 

Look in the mirror now, or once you get home. What do you see? Before you start picking out all of your flaws and things you would like to change about yourself, really take a look. What are you good at? The answer is not ‘nothing’. I don’t know you and I can already tell you that! Really, what is it? I can tell you right now that you’re good at setting aside time for yourself, because you’re doing it right now. You can read! Otherwise how would you be able to follow along and even know what I’m saying! You wake up every day and live your life as you and no one else in this entire world can do that!

 

I’m telling you this because there were times where I couldn’t look myself in the mirror.

 

There were times where if I didn’t have validation I didn't see worth. Now, I’m not telling you this because I’m ‘perfect’ now. Shit, I’m the furthest thing from! I’ve continuously put myself in relationships where I needed their validation to move day by day. It became toxic because those people didn’t know or love themselves either.

 

I am lucky enough to have a father in my life that has taught me many things. How to love is one of them. Not only how to love and respect others but to love myself. It takes a lot of practice! I’m still working on it every day, but I’ve found ways that work for me!

If you’re not sure where to start, here are a few of the things that I do on a daily basis to remind myself how important I am, to myself.

 

1. Words of Affirmation

 

I have a picture frame right next to my door/mirror in my room that every day when I leave I have to see them. Even if you don’t recite them to yourself, start by reading them in your head. Reciting them out loud is an extremely powerful thing! If you can get out of your head that it’s ‘weird’ to talk to yourself in the mirror, you will actually feel those words affect you and it is SO beautiful when they do.

 

2. Write!

 

Believe it or not, I don’t consider myself a writer at all! Although, I am here writing to you all, it’s a part of my own self-love practices. You don’t have to think it’s good, but getting what’s going on in your head out on a piece of paper really clears your brain out! Seeing what’s going on up there on a physical thing in front of you really changes the way you think. Lists are a good one, too!

 

3. Listen to Music

 

I have started to listen to a lot of lo-fi beats lately and just listening to how the music moves and lives in a space is truly healing. When is the last time you listened to music with little to no words? Take 10 minutes and go on Spotify and turn on Low-key. I’m telling you that playlist is BOMB!

 

4. Find Something to Do with Your Hands

 

One of the most amazing things about our bodies is they are an instrument themselves! Find something that you can create with your hands. Draw, paint, write, pottery, plant things, play piano, decorate, knit, sew, anything where your hands are involved! Try this on for size... you don’t have to be good at it!!! This is something just for you! Not anyone else, YOU!

 

5. Turn Your Phone Off and Just Be with Yourself

For all of these, turn your damn phone off! Unless it’s playing some bomb ass lo-fi jams while you spend time with yourself, but seriously, we live in a generation with phones glued to our hands. If we can’t find our phone, we have a panic attack! Wean yourself off that bad boy! I have days where I will leave my phone in another room and it feels so good not answering texts and emails! Take that time for yourself! It’s so underrated and SO important!!! The most important thing I’ve learned from loving myself fully is to FORGIVE MYSELF! Guess what, no one is perfect, and no one expects you to be except you, so cut yourself some slack, alright?

 

Every night before bed I take time to do at least one of those things above. If that doesn’t work I have plenty more where that comes from, so jump in my DM’s! Don’t let others show you your ‘worth’. Love yourself before you let anyone else try to love you, because the longest relationship you’ll be in is with yourself.

 

 

Love,

 

Clarke

 

 

 

 

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