November 5, 2018

Admit it. You have a dream bae. 


We all do.


Every time I close my eyes, my mind wanders to a fine ass chocolate man with everything on the list of qualities I've written down in my iPhone for the one. I fantasize over his athletic body, his deep voice, and even his haircut. I think of the car he drives, the friends he has, and the career he pursues. Sometimes I go so far as laying my head on my pillow at night, imagining it's dream bae's muscular chest, calling me into his heartbeat as I fall asleep.


Yeah, you've done it too.


I am a goal oriented person. I'm a go-getter and a modern day business woman with enough class to stop a train. My dreams should be occupied with boujee thoughts of my future acceptance speeches and accomplishments, but they're not. I've focused so much on getting into a new relationship, that my thought-life has been taken over by dream bae.


Well, enough is enough. 


I've developed a bucket list of things I want to accomplish before I enter another relationship. This list contains goals, both big and small that I've always wanted to accomplish. The purpose of the bucket list is to ensure that I am intentional with my time as a single woman, instead of spending my nights desperate to meet someone.


Why wait until I know I'm about to die to do the things I've always wanted to do? Why not now?At this time in my life, I have no commitments or responsibilities to anyone but myself. I have my whole life to be sitting on my ass, telling future bae, "Your socks are in the top drawer, honey."


So here it is.


5 Reasons You Need to Make a Bucket List While You're Still Single


1. You Spend All of Your Time Thinking About Dream Bae


Let's focus our attention on something more productive, shall we?


2. You Are Not Where You Want To Be In Life


I don't know about you, but I still live with my parents. I'm a recent college grad with a struggling bank account. Do you think I want to bring a grown ass man to my parent's house to hang out? Could you imagine dream bae sitting in between my mom and dad as we awkwardly watch 60 Minutes together as a family? I can't. That's why moving out of my parent's crib and building my savings account are highly ranked on my bucket list.


3. You Keep Recycling Relationships


You keep going back to Rae Rae from Costco because your options for men are limited. Out of all the men on the entire planet, Rae Rae's discount supplying ass continues to convince you that he's the best you'll ever have. The lies.


The more you accomplish on your bucket list, the more people (fine ass, job having, accomplished men) you will meet. People you didn't even know existed will begin to cross your path as you move in the direction of your goals. Guys once out of your league will find their way into your ballpark as you elevate to their current level of success.


4. You're Stuck in Your Comfort Zone


In the eight months since I've started my own bucket list, I have completely changed as a person. The old me used to lay in bed, scrolling through my phone as I waited for the next day to begin. The new me has learned how to challenge my body beyond its comfort zone to get what I want. For example, I've found the courage to attend events alone. Nervous and uncomfortable, I stood in venues feeling completely out of place. Through those experiences, I pushed myself to talk to people. The networking I've been able to do has lead to so many new opportunities and friendships.


5. Your Relationship Track Record is Unacceptable


Maybe you've been in one too many bad relationships and you're wondering how to break the cycle. Maybe you've never been in a relationship. Either way, your relationship track record is unacceptable and it's your fault.


It's time to make a change in your life and finally focus on becoming the person you've always wanted to be. Instead of jumping into another relationship and falling for the first guy that shows interest in you, try saying no for once. Challenge yourself to figure out the direction of your life before dedicating your precious time to a man.


Relationships are about two whole people coming together, rather than two halves completing each other. People who have already made contributions to this world are more powerful as a couple than people looking for validation in each other. Save yourself another disappointment and work on being a whole, confident, self assured, fully healed person. Yes, you need to take the time to heal from your broken relationships and insecurities before you ask a man to play your therapist.



Rules For Making An Effective Bucket List:


  1. Don't Overthink It

  2. Start somewhere

  3. No goal is too small or too big to accomplish

  4. Do not doubt yourself

  5. Free your mind of all limitations holding you back from doing what you have always wanted to do

  6. Give yourself a realistic time frame to focus on yourself exclusively without the distraction of a potential bae, boyfriend, or side piece

  7. Pull out your phone right now and start your list


You may not know exactly what you want to accomplish. Start with something small and watch those small steps turn into bigger ones as opportunities begin to open up in your life. Who knows? One day you will look up, and dream bae will be standing right in front of you.




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