My heart is beating fast. All I can think about is you on top of me one more time.
I remember you kissing me in a dark room, wasting my time. You gave me the gift of pleasure to replace the world around me that went lost. I lost my friends. I lost my family. I lost my ambition. I lost it all just to feel you lost inside of me. You and I, lost. We lost ourselves in sweat under thin blankets in the winter. Cold, with our breaths fogging windows so no one could look in.
Bent over, taking shots from your hips and screaming out for the you that was lost too.
You turned me around and placed your warm touch on my breast. You felt my heart beat and kissed the pulse over and over. You bit in just to remind me I existed. Your lips were on mine. I bit you back to remind you too. Lost.
The last time. The bed shook and then stopped. You rolled over and slept. I got up and walked through the dark, unable to find light. I felt for my clothes piled on the dirty floor. Your belt, your wallet, your keys, all graced with my touch. My panties laying in the corner. My bra, draped over your t-shirt. My pants at the foot of your bed. My shirt, wrapped around my neck.
I dressed myself in the dark.
It was cold that night. I didn’t want to leave you. I laid across your bare chest, my cheek rubbing up against your Jesus tattoo. I loved you. You rolled over. Your elbow hitting my chin. Your back to my face. It was cold, but I decided that the cold of the winter air felt warmer than the covers on your bed. I left you that night.
You woke up with me nowhere to be found. Lost. I went to go search for myself.
Funny. I found me when I lost you.
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